I think I’m having a mid-life crisis. (Can I still do that
after 55?)
In six weeks—more or less—my formal education will be
complete. Although I am currently carrying 15 graduate credits, I haven’t been
in a classroom as a student since June. That part of my education is over—and I
have to admit, I miss it. The give and take of discussion. Examining new ideas
with classmates. Writing papers.
(I love writing papers!)
Yes, I’m still doing a lot of writing. I’m in the midst of final
revisions for my project and defense, and
I’ve recently written a one page synopsis for my novel (the shortest and most
difficult writing assignment I’ve had in a while). I’m getting ready to start working
on a query letter to send out to publishers in hopes of drumming up some
interest for my novel. I’m revising one paper for publication in an online
journal and getting ready to submit another in hopes of acceptance. And, I’m doing an independent study on the
use of journals in the writing classroom. I’ve got plenty to do for the next
six weeks.
But, when those weeks are up, I have no idea what will come
next—and for someone who likes their ducks in a row…that’s really hard. Really hard.
Not having a plan is not really the problem, though. The
problem is that I have no idea what I might want the plan to be. Do I want to
get a job—and if so, what kind? Do I still want to teach? Depends on what day
of the week it is. Do I want to write another book
?
Shouldn’t I know what I want to be when I grow up by now?
I could take some time off and think about it, but I don’t
do time off very well.
The rational part of my brain reminds me that life can only
be lived one day at a time, but the rest? The not-so-rational part?
It wants a plan…
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