Almost two years ago, I started thinking about returning to graduate school. Wondering if I really wanted to go back--not that I ever really stopped (I've taken classes every quarter for the last two years, all while working 30 hours a week)--and finally deciding I wanted nothing more.
I'm going for it. I'm getting a Ph.D.
But when you think about something for that long--planning, prepping, writing letters and papers to prove your worth to someone you may never meet--you have a lot of time to question the wisdom of your decision. And even after receiving an acceptance letter--and feeling that rush of excitement and vindication (They like me! They really like me!)--it's all too easy to find the doubt creeping in.
Can I really do this? Am I crazy to even consider taking this step at my age?
But this week, I found all the reassurance I needed. I took a trip to Seattle, making a trial run on public transit (the Sounder and the Link to UW? Easy peasy. Someone should have thought of that years ago!), and met with the English graduate program director. Aside from discovering that I'd get all 30 credits possible for entering with an MA degree (a great relief, since my degree is not in English), and getting just the faculty adviser I was hoping for, I learned that I will not even be the oldest person in my brand-new cohort! My classmates and I will be joined by an 80-year-old retired physician who has decided he wants a Ph.D. in English--just like the rest of us!
So, no...I'm not too old!
Sitting on the train on the way home, watching the landscape rush past, I couldn't help but smile. It has all worked out so perfectly. Twenty years ago, college wasn't even on my radar. I had a thriving business, doing something that I loved--and something that I was really good at. But nine years ago, it all fell apart and I had figure out a way to regroup. I had to find something new to do (because I always need to have something to do), and returning to college became that thing. And even more, it became something that I loved, and I was really good at. It led me to a new profession--also something I really love--and now it's leading me on once again.
Four years ago, when I began my MA program, I started this blog as a way to examine my research interests and explore ideas for what became my capstone project--a novel inspired by a diary. Today, I have a few new ideas that I can't wait to "try out" here, ideas that might blossom into another such project. But for the moment, I'm just counting down these last few days before my life changes once again. Wednesday, September 27th can't come soon enough for me.
Let the adventure begin!
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