I've spent most of my waking moments this weekend writing papers that discuss things like my "theoretical paradigm," and reading articles about "mommyblogging,"  19th century women diarists, and the creation of identity through language--all so I can write a paper (due Wednesday) that explains why my chosen topic is worth studying. (Isn't it enough to say that I'm fascinated?)

So, I did a little freewrite this morning--just to find out what I think--and I'm including it here:

Why is it important to examine these personal writings of women who are just beginning to understand themselves as mothers? There is probably no relationship on earth more intense than that of mother and child. One literally gives birth to the other, and in that process two identities are born. A child awakes to life, and a mother is born. Before that moment, a woman lives and breathes and has an identity as daughter, wife, friend, maybe sister—and whatever else identifies the person she is. But in the moment when her child takes his or her first breath, she is also born anew. She is born as a mother.

I can’t speak of the experience of adopted mothers, but I imagine that it is not much different. Although love may happen at first glance, it is in that first moment of shared breath that motherhood really begins. And along with this new identity is also born—for many—the desire to experience it in a community that shares that identity.

My goal with this project is to examine the writings of women in two centuries—and across two seemingly disparate mediums—to discover the language that attests to constructions of an identity as “mother.” As we read accounts of women sharing with other women the stories of their own motherhood, we see not only the creation of a brand-new self, but the desire for a new community in which to experience it. We find shared stories of common concern creating support systems and allowing  women to fashion their new identity within this “writing community” they have created.

Clearly, 21^st century mommbloggers seem to be sharing their stories with a larger community, but didn't women in the 19^th century really do the same with their so-called “private writings?” I maintain that they did. Cynthia Huff , in an article regarding Victorian-era women and their diaries of childbirth and motherhood, claims that those diaries were shared among family and friends as a way to share concerns and create support communities. Is this any different than what the Internet allows us to do today—just on a larger scale? Most of the mommyblogs categorized  by Aimee Morrison as “personal” have readerships of only a few to a few dozen, and in them women are creating not only a sense of their own identity as mothers, but a support system for themselves with others who share that same sense of identity. Morrison calls these shared “spaces” of support “intimate publics," and they become for both groups a place of creation—not unlike the moment of shared breath that first gave birth to mother and child.

Any mommybloggers out there? If you'd care to share your experiences, I await with bated breath...